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48 hour Love vs 24/7 Loving: Can Your Relationship Survive Quarantine?

Can you survive quarantining with your mate?

Quarantine has created a love-lockdown experiment for the ages! 

For some, it has been a blessing and for others, a curse!

According to Freshpet, 44% of the women surveyed preferred to quarantine with a pet over a significant other. It seems logical; pets don’t talk back.

#Couple Goals: 

Couples quarantining in love may seem to be living their best life right now while binge-watching Netflix, DIY-ing, playing video games, Tik Toking, or whatever happy couples do together. They have upgraded from 48 hours on the weekend–to every damn day! 

Moreover, they may be making it a priority to strengthen their emotional connection and exploring new ways to physically spend time together. Some are discovering new things about each other and planning for life after the pandemic – if they haven’t done so already.

Maybe you just started dating and have realized you are on a never-ending speed date. You look over and then realize how cool and cute your partner is. You say to yourself, “I can do this every day, right?”

For example, Lisa, 49, from Texas, explained how she met a new partner while online dating in February 2020. At that time, neither distance or time was on their side. When quarantine hit, they obviously had more time for each other. They recently eliminated the distance, moved in with each other, and are now engaged. It hasn’t even been a six-month relationship. When you know, you know.

But if the aforementioned paragraphs made you slightly throwup in your mouth, you have to ask yourself: has your relationship spoiled? Is it past its expiration date?

Beware: COVID may not be the only thing making you sick!

Whether you and your significant other live together or not, chances are, one of you could be that person who prefers to live with a pet rather than a lover. Maybe it’s you who is not feeling this never-ending couple’s retreat. You suddenly realize this person is a complete POS!

Now you’re just completely irritated and disgusted – and it shows.

Those issues you’ve been so busy avoiding are the same issues now spotlighted, and you are staring at them head-on. Those headlights are giant lights illuminating all your issues.

What are the issues?

These may be the biggies: Commitment, incompatibility, & infidelity. Or it could be constant battles about money struggles, disagreements over technology, too much or not enough sex; there may be differing ideas about household chores, leaving the seat up, sleeping all day, and what happened five years ago at a certain office party. The list goes on.

These issues too often lead to silence, disagreements or arguments along with anger, resentment, and abuse, as well as depression.

All issues are exacerbated by the pandemic’s financial, emotional, and physical uncertainties.

While being locked down in quarantine, there may not be any possible outlets for stress and anger.

What do you do?

Do you just give up? Do you talk about it or act out in RAGE? 

Frankly, you may ask yourself: Is this relationship worth it?

Because if heartache decides to move in…it’s gonna have to pay some bills!”

It may be that you just have to hang in there until this COVID quarantine is over. You may have embarked on couple’s therapy. Perhaps you are secretly looking up the names of divorce lawyers. It may take every bit of patience you have to be civil to one another.  But this time can be used to shape what you want from your relationship- this one or the next.

Moreover, most of us work at least five days a week – we wake up (barely say HI & BYE to our lover), carpe diem, eat dinner, and off to bed with or without having sex.

Honestly, were we even happy before or were we just busy?  Numbing ourselves (i.e., working, drinking, eating, soccer moming, Netflixing too much), to not face the facts.

Personally,  I didn’t realize how much “ responsible adulting” actually slowed down the process of learning about each other while building a relationship. 

Nor did I realize how one single life-altering event–a global pandemic– could contribute to the make or break process in any type of relationship.

Can you survive quarantine without wanting to divorce your mate!

Unfortunately, quarantining is bringing the best and the worst out in people.

Sometimes you look over at him or her and just want to burn their designer clothes or sell all their $hit for a $1…just to make it stop Jesus! PLEASE go love on your secretare ( in your Mary J. Blige pronunciation)!

Post-COVID Plans

I am not in your relationship, so I am not completely sure what you should do- but I do know your safety is paramount.

As for myself, I have been continuously dating the same guy for over a year but never noticed how much of a POS he really was. Luckily, that spotlight on our issues showed us some things we could do better. Long story short – being together to communicate could not have come at a better time for us, knowing what we know about each other now. 

Through gut-wrenching disagreements, I have learned to refine my skills in communication, accessibility, proactiveness, encouragement, trust, vulnerability, and even my sexuality. I am continuing to learn what works for me and us and what does not. 

I knew who I was before, but I have leveled up on a more positive note – not just with him, but in all my relationships.

When we are all back to living our so-called  “normal” lives, I plan to continue to implement the same positive habits that I have garnered during quarantine.

This slower pace of life has made me realize that for me, slower equals sanity.

So to wrap up: Are you in love or at war? And is everything still fair? It’s possible quarantining has shown that you each have to make more sacrifices and be more giving now that you’re loving 24/7 vs that 48-hour weekend love.

You crazy kids be safe out there,

The Single Siren

*This article originally appeared in the September issue of Ms. Heel Magazine. You can follow The Single Siren on IG @ThesingleSiren *

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