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From Dry Spells To Spell Check (Up On It)…can you go too long without sex?

is your vagina happy
Dry Spells...can you go too long without sex?

While your vagina is a muscle, the old axiom, use it or lose it does not necessarily apply.

Lack of sex can reduce the flexibility of our beautiful vaginas and the lack of attention can leave you wanting more. So, how long is too long? Thankfully estrogen and progesterone keep the vagina healthy, moist and supple regardless of regular sexual activity but if your dry spell continues for several years, your vagina may begin to change. A prolonged dry spell can result in vaginal dryness and although this is not necessarily a problem it can be uncomfortable. “Dry” sex can range from uncomfortable to painful and can even cause trauma to your vaginal tissue. Keep this in mind when resuming sexual activity; focus on the foreplay to get your juices flowing, take your time and listen to your body. In addition, a prolonged dry spell for post-menopausal women can shrink your vaginal opening which may also make sex less comfortable. Finally, a long dry spell can reduce our interest in sex altogether and along with this decreased sex drive can prolong that dry spell . . . While these changes occur over several years of abstinence and can also be associated with changing hormones, what’s a girl to do if she’s ready and willing with no suitable sexual partner? 

Sex for one! 

Many of the health benefits associated with sex may be equally associated with masturbation and will keep your vagina happy. Regular masturbation can help reduce dryness.  While we are on the topic of masturbation, erections are not exclusive to the penis. Our breasts and clitoral area have erectile tissue and massage to these areas can bring great pleasure and prime your body for further exploration. So let’s get stroking. Not quite in the mood? Reading erotica, viewing sexy images, or even imagining the sex you’d like to have, can get you in the mood. If you need more stimulation than your hands can provide, bring on the toys. 

Beyond satisfying our hedonistic desires, what do we ladies gain from sex? And let’s be clear, I am not talking about procreation, which, I’ll admit can also be incredibly satisfying. Regular sexual activity has been associated with lower rates of depression, better sleep, reduced stress, improved immune response and even with lower rates of cancers affecting our reproductive organs. This focus on the health benefits of an activity can lead to a sense of obligation to participate, not out of want or desire, but out of guilt or compulsion as we commit to ideals of health promotion or healthy living. We should have sex because we actually want to have sex and not out of a sense of obligation to our health or to another person. If you are not sure what you want, start with some self-reflection . . . What makes you feel good? What makes you feel sexy? Any aversions? What really brings you pleasure and what gets in the way? In addition to self-reflection, take some time for self exploration.  

Here’s to quenching your thirst, Cheers!

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